I?m not pregnant.
So then why am I back on Being Pregnant for Babble?
Well, here?s a little story:
Once upon a time (hang in there, it?s going to get better) there were two kids, Diana (12) and Sam (13) who met in 7th grade. Sam liked to set things on fire and Diana liked to wear high-water pants. They were friends.
Fast forward to high school where they both were significantly better dressed and looking, and best friends. Best friends that really liked each other. A lot.
So senior year they ?went out?. Right before Sam headed to the Marines following graduation he asked Diana to marry him. She said yes. And almost 2 years later, at 19 and 20, they were married.
The next 6 years brought war, PTSD, alcoholism, marriage counseling, moving, lots of deployments, and the question of if they ever wanted kids ? because Diana didn?t like to barf. (Oh, the irony of this?) Finally, they decided to look at adoption as a different choice. International, since both had traveled overseas and seen the living conditions there. They felt their hearts pull for that.
And right before they paid an agency to start, they decided to try to get pregnant ? and three weeks later they were. 8 very long, very sick months of hyperemesis later, Bella was born a few weeks early after 6 weeks of preterm labor and bedrest. They spent the next year trying to figure out why the child puked so much (severe reflux), and debating if they ever, ever wanted to do this again. As much as they loved her.
Nearly 2 years later, Diana was still on the fence. They brought up adoption again. And started to move forward. But in the midst of the research, found that they wanted to try again to see if this pregnancy would be different. So they took the plunge. And in January they were pregnant. In Februrary they found out they were expecting twins. In March they thought they were fraternal, April brought identical boys.
And in May, after 4 months of severe hyperemesis again, Diana?s water broke at 18 weeks and 5 days, and a week later she went into labor and had her boys, Julian and Preston. Much too early to live, although Preston hung in there for 2 hours like a champ.
Once again, they looked at each other through the tears and pain that they thought very well might break their hearts in two and wondered if they could ever do this again.
They decided that they could not for a long time ? to themselves, to Bella, to a child that might not live because of what had already happened twice. Because of incompetent cervixes and the life altering hyperemesis that would happen again. So knowing this, they did what had been on their hearts for 3 1/2 years. What they had researched and looked into for months at a time.
They chose an adoption agency so they could still expand their family. Never forgetting the two little boys they wanted so very much to be a part of it.
And yes, we are adopting!
From Korea, a little boy or girl (we don?t get to choose gender before the child is referred ? and we don?t want to anyway), between 7-18 months old. This was all chosen by our age, the state we live in, and desires for our family, because we had never really considered Korea but are excited to be a part of the process. In the next year or so we will fly to Seoul and get to pick up our son or daughter.
My hope is that by blogging through this journey, some of you that have wanted to do this but hesitated (probably for many of the same reasons we did) will come to see how this all works and that you don?t need to be perfect (because we?d be out) or rich (again, out) or even a lot older (I?m 28) to adopt internationally. That if this tug is placed on your heart, maybe our journey will give you the confidence to see where that feeling would take your family.
We are thrilled. I am thrilled to share it on here with all of you.
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Diana blogs on more on raising a toddler daughter, the loss of her twin boys, their families Korean adoption in progress, being an Army wife, and her crazy life on the aptly named Hormonal Imbalances.
Smaller glimpses into her day are on Twitter as @lifeasaSAHM and Facebook.
MORE ON BABBLE:
These Hilarious Maternity T-shirts Almost Make Me Want to be Pregnant Again
How Babies Are Made Book
Funny Ways to Tell Your Partner You?re Pregnant
10 Most Annoying Pregnancy Terms
What Your Baby Name Choice Says About You
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